It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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