ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
