You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I intend to get homeless drunk
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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