he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
