He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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