I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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