just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
