at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
How external is "for external use only"?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
