There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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