this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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