just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
