i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
