Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
