Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I pour the whiskey from now on
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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