I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize