Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
