I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
