I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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