If that was your dad, he is hot
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
