He is an equal opportunity slut.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
