the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
