toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
did i walk over a car last night?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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