Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Girls should come with a carfax report
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
