everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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