I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
