is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
