We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
