Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
