it wasn't lemon gatorade
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
