The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
