i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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