sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
