So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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