I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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