I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
