I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Pants are for mortals
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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