Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
