did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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