he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Ketchup is God's man juice
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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