She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
ok first of all what the fuck
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
