haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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