I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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