umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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