Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
