Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
