All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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