Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
