You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
