Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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