He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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