I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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