so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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