I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
